A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” he asked.
“I’m going to Las Vegas,” she replied. “I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free.”
“Wait a minute,” said the man, and ran inside. A few minutes later, he came back out with his own suitcases.
“Where are you going?” the wife asked.
“I want to see how you’re going to live on $800 a year!”
A lawyer who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his landlord wanted the house back.
When people heard he had 12 children, no one wanted to rent to him—they feared the kids would destroy the place. So he sent his wife and 11 of the children to walk in the cemetery. He took the remaining child with him to see rental homes.
He found a house he liked, and the price was right. The agent asked, “How many children do you have?”
“Twelve,” the lawyer replied.
“Where are the others?” the agent asked.
With a sad courtroom look, the lawyer answered, “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”